on going without

‎To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness.

Bertrand Russell

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In the beginning…

This post has been several years in the making.  When I first thought of using the internet to help me remember what I am doing, blogs were popular.  Yes, sometimes I’m that far behind the times.  So, why now?

Everyday I find myself dueling balance in a million ways and by the end of most days, I am no closer to finding it.  Some would say that’s because I enjoy the perks that come with being an unbalanced person :-).  Today, the reason I start this blog today, is because I can’t get one question out of my head.  Does balance exist?

Balance, as defined by dictionary.com has 31 definitions ranging from “a stable emotional state” to “to reckon and adjust accounts.”  To me, balance has always been tied to the idea of equilibrium.  Give and take.  My parents taught me this at young age of 5 when I first got my allowance.  If I’d given my time to chores that week I was given some money, some of which I had to save, some of which I could take and spend on whatever I wanted.  I quickly learned that the more cheerful I was about my chores, or to be more honest, the less I complained about them, the more money I was given.  They taught me that being part of the family was rewarding to my desires as long as I also fulfilled their desires.  Looking back, this was a lot to grasp as a whiny 5 year old – but I’m glad my parents thought highly enough of me to teach me.

Balance must exist as the result of understanding the system.  It’s the peace that you get when you know that you have sacrificed something for something else.  However, I’m years removed from my allowance days and able to look back at them now and see them as rewarding.  I am beginning to challenge myself – what sacrifices do I complain about to today that are truly worth it?  where can balance be found and where should it be fought?